We were walking in a small tourist town last summer. Not too hot, with a few high clouds in the sky, and a nice breeze off the sound. A pretty day for window shopping. We were visiting our daughter and 3-year-old granddaughter that weekend. As we walked and talked, I mentioned that Mom and I were trying to eat better these days and trying to lay off meat and cut back on dairy. Our daughter, who takes what we eat and when we eat it, very seriously, chimed in. "You know, ALL animal products are bad for you. There's really no point in stopping one without the other". As that statement hung there, echoing in the odd silence like so many proclamations do, I was struck, probably not for the first time in our lives together, but certainly more pronounced at this red hot second, that I never knew how wrong I was about life until my daughter told me. Her surety is unnerving. For every statement, belief, admonition, pontification, platitude, and cold hard fact that comes from her loving mouth, I never get the impression that she is open to anything that resembles, discourse."Things are this way, (right now) and I am the prophet of illumination. Bow before me and all bathe in my righteous light".
Of course, I exaggerate. If any light she may be, she is surely the light in my eyes.
But this brings me to where I wanted to go with this chautauqua.
Surety and the death of discourse. Or rather, I believe this. I don't care if it's true or not, it's part of who I am now.
When did we tie so much into what we need and want to believe that we cannot ever fathom a discussion about something that may end up NOT being "The Truth"?
People today, are more vigilant than ever, it seems, about their deeply held ideas, beliefs, and cogitations that they are willing to separate themselves from those dearest to them to maintain a hearty kung fu grip on their own personal dogma. When did what was in our heads become more important than everything else? Just like when you look for a reason why some company or someone in power does something that is egregious and detrimental to society at large is usually about money...Us, as human beings, doing something that pastes us into a narrow corner that we will defend to the death to exculpate, it's usually due to one thing we all experience en masse, Fear.
But what are we afraid of?
The usual suspects' Death, Abandonment, and Loss don't really apply here unless she feels that if she is not able to express herself, she will die. I don't really think that her views have gotten to the point of calling someone out for a duel.
But maybe she not feeling so strongly about the views themselves but just the fact that she has them and that to her, being "heard" is the thing she is really trying to accomplish.
Are you feeling not "Heard"?
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